She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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