Kiss
Puke
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
