just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
