I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I am available for nakedness
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
