It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize