margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
