I wish I could teleport
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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