i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
