win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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