anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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