the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
