Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Are we still banned from the library?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
