your parents love me but you hate me
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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