Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
