Pregnant stripper...not hot.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
