my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just had sex on a roof
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize