You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
