best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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