If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
