Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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