I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
