I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
