hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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