So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
