We named our party play list daddy issues
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
