Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
