I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
