She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
