all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
