Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
