your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
