What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
