I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
