The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You are the jesus of drinking
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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