I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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