I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
