i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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