sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
