Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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