Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
