Pregnant stripper...not hot.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize