Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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