Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Your penis caused this!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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