Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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