he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just want to make out with him forever
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
