It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize