just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
