SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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