Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
