whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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