i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
