so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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