if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
