They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
